I admit it, I'm in a pretty good place right now. But with the holiday's approaching, there are a few...annoyances. So to honor the age old (ok, generation old) tradition of airing of grievances in honor of Festivus, here we go.
Single People Get Screwed
And not in a good way. When it comes to buying gifts, single people get screwed. When you're a couple, you can get away with the gift being from both of you. Nevermind the fact that, especially when there is a set dollar amount for the gift exchange, the couple ends up spending half as much as the single person. The couple collectively buys one gift, while the single person buys each person a gift, thus, spending twice the money. How can this possibly be a financially sound decision? The single person, often making less money than the couple does combined, is responsible for twice the amount, and thus twice the money of the couple. And when the couple has kids...all bets are off. You spend money on presents for the couple, still. And then you have to spoil the kid(s) too. We single people totally get screwed.
When Do I Get To Make Plans?
I had a great idea for Christmas this year. We only get custody of my brother and sis-in-law and my niece every other year for Christmas. So we had them for Thanksgiving this year. And this will likely (hopefully) be my last Christmas in DC. So let's do Christmas here. Then I ended up moving to a much smaller apartment, so my mom used that to convince everyone to go to Florida instead. Which is fine, and at the moment, leaving the 25 degree weather that DC currently is suffering from for 75 degrees and sun sounds quite nice at the moment.
What I was really hoping for was a nice, relaxing vacation. And I get more family than I was really asking for, and I get no opportunity to make plans. At all. I was hoping for Christmas Eve to be a time to invite people that are likely going to be spending Christmas with their own families, but still people whose company we enjoy.
Long story short, that's now how it's shaping up. Instead of getting to invite people I want to invite, make food I want to make, it has turned into 18 phone calls in one day between my mom and her cousins with statements like "well, we can't do this because one of the cousins doesn't like to be around people she doesn't know, and won't talk to anyone" and "they're just going to do their own thing instead, but we still need to make considerations for them." Annoying. All of it.
Ok, I admit that it isn't just the single people that have to deal with family crap during the holiday's. The big difference is that as a single person you get one vote. And even then, it's not a real vote because you're destined to just do what the majority wants to do anyway. Because the alternative is sitting in your efficiency apartment eating take-out Chinese food on Christmas. Actually, at the moment, that doesn't sound half bad.
It doesn't help that my dad made a sarcastic, off handed comment last night when they finally got around to cluing me into the discussions. I asked when I would be able to provide input for the holidays, or plan an evening like Christmas Eve, or even host it. He said "in 8 years." Which is my off hand, non-responsive answer to when I'm getting married. Where is it written that you have to be married to be able to host something like Christmas Eve. Or even get the consideration that this might be a possibility. I know he was joking. I get that, but it was a poorly timed joke, and the meaning behind it, serious or not, doesn't help me like the holiday's any better.
How To Survive
I have decided that there is only one way for me to be able to survive the holiday's. Remain in a constant state of buzzed. And since my parents are teetotalers, and against drinking in general, I'm going to have to sneak in the booze. Yup, I'm 30, and I'm going to have to sneak in a flask. It's a sad day, but I believe it's necessary.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Date Day
There are a lot of things to do in the city. But one of the things I have noticed since I've lived here is that "natives" just...don't. This hit home for me on Friday evening when I was driving back from a conference with a colleague who grew up in DC (a real oddity). And as we were driving through downtown, we were talking about sightseeing, etc. And she had no idea what some of the buildings were that we were passing. And it's simple stuff like the Executive Office Building next to the White House.
There are a lot of times where I feel like I don't do enough around this city, I don't take the opportunity's while I still have them. It's a lack of time, or lack of desire to fight the tourists, etc. And once I actually had some time, I decided that I needed to fix that situation. I was taking myself on a date.
The plan was to wake up sans alarm, drink coffee, read, and eventually get dressed and take the bus down to the Mall. Walk the entire Mall, eat lunch at the Smithsonian of the American Indian, and then hit up the Zoo lights. But really, just to meander around, without set plans and enjoy the day. It's December, and not nearly as much of a tourist trap that warmer months are, which makes it perfect for a native to wander without dealing with too many annoy tourist. It also means that it's cold.
Saturday morning, I woke up, far earlier than expected, but still without an alarm, so I made the best of it. I drank an entire press pot of coffee, and watched a little TV. I'm in the middle of re-watching all of the West Wing. And once it got to be light out, I decided it was time to stop looking at a fake version of the White House on TV, and go see the real thing. I checked the weather, and saw that it was in the 40's and sunny, which was good. Sun is definitely good when it's cold. But I still bundled up (still being uber sensitive to cold weather since the whole hypothermia thing), packed some snacks, and headed out the door.
One of the great things about The Mall is that everything is so close. Within the first hour, I was able to see The White House all decked out for Christmas, The WW2 Memorial, which is currently undergoing a bit of construction, and the recently opened MLK Memorial.
I then continued my walk through the FDR Memorial, which is one of my favorites, but failed to take any pictures of. And then it was on to see my Revolutionary boyfriend, Thomas Jefferson. Seriously, let's face it, he's definitely the hottie of the Revolution. I mean, he could write too, which is really just an added bonus.
By this time, it's 11am, and I'm getting hungry. Not to mention the fact that I've been walking for an hour and a half. So I start meandering over to the Smithsonian. I walk in, and hear drum beats, and for a moment think it's just music being piped into the intercom system. But then I realize that they are having a demonstration from a tribe visiting from Wisconsin. I peak over, but screw it, I'm hungry. I head to the cafeteria. I've eaten at the Smithsonian of the Native American 3 times. Each time is a unique and lovely experience. And all three are on my list of top meals I have eaten in DC. And each time I eat there, I wander around for far too long trying to decide what to eat, because everything looks amazing. This time, I settled on beef corn tacos, butternut squash drizzled with cranberry sauce, and applewood smoked bacon, and corn pone with mushrooms.
It may look like your normal, average food. But it's not. It's so much more than that. It's good quality, and the flavors are incredible. It's actually a little sad that eating here can make a good day utterly amazing. So if you haven't eaten there, I highly recommend it. To everyone. And if I find out that instead of eating the food that is made from original, Native American recipes, you ate chicken fingers and fries, I will find you and beat you senseless. So once I was full, I went back to the lobby to watch the rest of the demonstration, which was very interesting. And one of the things that I do love about living here, you can stumble across some really interesting opportunities just by walking around.
So then it was back down to the Korean Memorial (which I still find a little disturbing), Mr. Lincoln, and the Vietnam Memorial. There is something about going to see Mr. Lincoln that I love. Standing in front of his statue, looking into his eyes, and just taking a moment to listen to him. And then of course, walking to the right and finding the mistake. I always go see the mistake.
As I was walking between the Korean Memorial and Mr. Lincoln, I heard sirens, which, let's face it, isn't that unusual. But then I heard someone mention a motorcade, so I look over, and at first think it was the President. But later events lead me to believe it was actually someone else. Like the VP, most likely. Again, if you don't work downtown, not an every day occurrence.
One of the things that I'm not such a fan of right now is all the construction that they're doing to the reflecting pond. I mean, what they're doing is great. But you're ruining my view. Again, with the reflecting pond, there are things that I always remember. And for this, I always think about Forrest Gump, and Jenny running through the reflecting pond to get to him. Awww...but I doubt we'll be remaking that any time soon. Apparently, they completely dug out the old pond, and are replacing it with a new one, but this time instead of being stagnate, they're adding drains, etc. All in all, a good thing to do.
By the time I get through the Vietnam Memorial, I have cried (seriously, who can get through the Vietnam Memorial without crying?), and my legs are beginning to get sore. That's what you get for walking around for hours and hours (after not having worked out for a few weeks). So I head over to the White House again to see the horrid Christmas trees. One would think, it being the National Christmas Tree that they would take some effort to make it beautiful, but it's consistently the ugliest tree, ever. And now that it's a new tree, that hasn't been growing there for 30 years, it's deformed looking, and still just plain ugly.
But it's one of those, you still just one of those train wrecks that you have to go see.
As I was walking over to the White House, I see a helicopter that looks suspiciously like Marine One. And then I see it fly towards the White House. And land on the lawn. Again, if you don't work down town, not a site you see every day. So I snuck in with all of the other tourists and took a picture. Because I'm a nerd like that.
A quick walk back to the bus stop, and I realize that it's only 2:30pm. I doubt the Zoo lights are going to be on. But maybe. As the bus gets to the Zoo, I realize that they aren't on, so I would have to come back to enjoy them. I ended up taking a nap, and realized that 4 hours walking around the city has worn me out a little, so I was going nowhere that night. But before I leave for Christmas, I will.
So I've basically laid out what I did, what I saw, what I ate. All the boring stuff. But what the day reminded me of is one of the things that I love most about this city. I mean, I started running because I kept seeing other people running through The Mall, and I wanted to be one of those people. And when I first moved to DC, I spent a lot of time just walking around The Mall. It holds a lot of memories for me, and it was just a lovely day. Plain and simple. And the fact that I did it for myself meant even more.
There are a lot of times where I feel like I don't do enough around this city, I don't take the opportunity's while I still have them. It's a lack of time, or lack of desire to fight the tourists, etc. And once I actually had some time, I decided that I needed to fix that situation. I was taking myself on a date.
The plan was to wake up sans alarm, drink coffee, read, and eventually get dressed and take the bus down to the Mall. Walk the entire Mall, eat lunch at the Smithsonian of the American Indian, and then hit up the Zoo lights. But really, just to meander around, without set plans and enjoy the day. It's December, and not nearly as much of a tourist trap that warmer months are, which makes it perfect for a native to wander without dealing with too many annoy tourist. It also means that it's cold.
Saturday morning, I woke up, far earlier than expected, but still without an alarm, so I made the best of it. I drank an entire press pot of coffee, and watched a little TV. I'm in the middle of re-watching all of the West Wing. And once it got to be light out, I decided it was time to stop looking at a fake version of the White House on TV, and go see the real thing. I checked the weather, and saw that it was in the 40's and sunny, which was good. Sun is definitely good when it's cold. But I still bundled up (still being uber sensitive to cold weather since the whole hypothermia thing), packed some snacks, and headed out the door.
One of the great things about The Mall is that everything is so close. Within the first hour, I was able to see The White House all decked out for Christmas, The WW2 Memorial, which is currently undergoing a bit of construction, and the recently opened MLK Memorial.
 |
I then continued my walk through the FDR Memorial, which is one of my favorites, but failed to take any pictures of. And then it was on to see my Revolutionary boyfriend, Thomas Jefferson. Seriously, let's face it, he's definitely the hottie of the Revolution. I mean, he could write too, which is really just an added bonus.
 | |
| Poor photo quality, which I blame on the light, and the annoying tourists who wouldn't get out of my way so I could get the good light. Not that I'm bitter or anything. |
By this time, it's 11am, and I'm getting hungry. Not to mention the fact that I've been walking for an hour and a half. So I start meandering over to the Smithsonian. I walk in, and hear drum beats, and for a moment think it's just music being piped into the intercom system. But then I realize that they are having a demonstration from a tribe visiting from Wisconsin. I peak over, but screw it, I'm hungry. I head to the cafeteria. I've eaten at the Smithsonian of the Native American 3 times. Each time is a unique and lovely experience. And all three are on my list of top meals I have eaten in DC. And each time I eat there, I wander around for far too long trying to decide what to eat, because everything looks amazing. This time, I settled on beef corn tacos, butternut squash drizzled with cranberry sauce, and applewood smoked bacon, and corn pone with mushrooms.
 | |
| Uh-may-zing. |
It may look like your normal, average food. But it's not. It's so much more than that. It's good quality, and the flavors are incredible. It's actually a little sad that eating here can make a good day utterly amazing. So if you haven't eaten there, I highly recommend it. To everyone. And if I find out that instead of eating the food that is made from original, Native American recipes, you ate chicken fingers and fries, I will find you and beat you senseless. So once I was full, I went back to the lobby to watch the rest of the demonstration, which was very interesting. And one of the things that I do love about living here, you can stumble across some really interesting opportunities just by walking around.
So then it was back down to the Korean Memorial (which I still find a little disturbing), Mr. Lincoln, and the Vietnam Memorial. There is something about going to see Mr. Lincoln that I love. Standing in front of his statue, looking into his eyes, and just taking a moment to listen to him. And then of course, walking to the right and finding the mistake. I always go see the mistake.
As I was walking between the Korean Memorial and Mr. Lincoln, I heard sirens, which, let's face it, isn't that unusual. But then I heard someone mention a motorcade, so I look over, and at first think it was the President. But later events lead me to believe it was actually someone else. Like the VP, most likely. Again, if you don't work downtown, not an every day occurrence.
One of the things that I'm not such a fan of right now is all the construction that they're doing to the reflecting pond. I mean, what they're doing is great. But you're ruining my view. Again, with the reflecting pond, there are things that I always remember. And for this, I always think about Forrest Gump, and Jenny running through the reflecting pond to get to him. Awww...but I doubt we'll be remaking that any time soon. Apparently, they completely dug out the old pond, and are replacing it with a new one, but this time instead of being stagnate, they're adding drains, etc. All in all, a good thing to do.
By the time I get through the Vietnam Memorial, I have cried (seriously, who can get through the Vietnam Memorial without crying?), and my legs are beginning to get sore. That's what you get for walking around for hours and hours (after not having worked out for a few weeks). So I head over to the White House again to see the horrid Christmas trees. One would think, it being the National Christmas Tree that they would take some effort to make it beautiful, but it's consistently the ugliest tree, ever. And now that it's a new tree, that hasn't been growing there for 30 years, it's deformed looking, and still just plain ugly.
But it's one of those, you still just one of those train wrecks that you have to go see.
As I was walking over to the White House, I see a helicopter that looks suspiciously like Marine One. And then I see it fly towards the White House. And land on the lawn. Again, if you don't work down town, not a site you see every day. So I snuck in with all of the other tourists and took a picture. Because I'm a nerd like that.
A quick walk back to the bus stop, and I realize that it's only 2:30pm. I doubt the Zoo lights are going to be on. But maybe. As the bus gets to the Zoo, I realize that they aren't on, so I would have to come back to enjoy them. I ended up taking a nap, and realized that 4 hours walking around the city has worn me out a little, so I was going nowhere that night. But before I leave for Christmas, I will.
So I've basically laid out what I did, what I saw, what I ate. All the boring stuff. But what the day reminded me of is one of the things that I love most about this city. I mean, I started running because I kept seeing other people running through The Mall, and I wanted to be one of those people. And when I first moved to DC, I spent a lot of time just walking around The Mall. It holds a lot of memories for me, and it was just a lovely day. Plain and simple. And the fact that I did it for myself meant even more.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
The Problem
For many, well, years, I have wondered what my problem is. What am I not doing, or what is wrong with me that I haven't been able to find love. I have read articles, I have went to therapy, I've worked on me. And I'm not going to lie, I'm a pretty fantastic person.
Sure, I have my moments. Moments of insecurity, weakness, self doubt. All of the above, and then some. So, the other day, I read another article, stating the same ol' things about finding satisfaction within yourself, being an independent person, and knowing what you want. Both in life, and a mate. And for the most part, I feel like I've accomplished this. And when I would have bad days, and would feel down, I would write it off to that happening to everyone.
Everyone has a weakness. I've probably known what mine is for a long time, but I haven't changed my behavior accordingly. I blame my smart phone. Ok, it probably started before then, but it became much more of an issue when I got a smart phone. For want of some external satisfaction, I often check my email. Thinking that I will magically get an email from...anyone. Or if my phone dinged, I immediately jumped on it. I constantly wanted and needed to receive email as some form of validation. Nevermind the fact that half the time when I do get emails, they're crap. Or they're from facebook telling me that someone else commented on someone else's status. I would long for a personal email from anyone, but really hoping that it was from someone I really liked. You know...like that. And not only do I jump on my phone, I constantly check facebook. Ok, so the latter is probably more out of boredom than anything else. In the mornings, the first thing I do is check my email. At night, if I can't fall asleep immediately, I'll surf through my phone. Either checking email, or playing around on facebook, or surfing the interwebz.
Over the past year, I've gotten a teensy bit better. While on vacation, or on weekends, I'll put my phone down, and I won't look at it for hours. I'll avoid it, actually. Not wanting to feel or be connected to the outside world. Not needing to be connected to the outside world. I needed a breather from my phone. But it's so temporary. I was still checking first thing in the morning, and most often, when my phone dings, I jump on it.
This stops. Now.
This morning, I moved my phone charger across the room. If I really had a viable option for plugging it in in another room, I would. But I have an efficiency apartment, and the bathroom probably isn't the smartest place to leave your phone. Or is it?
I have to stop looking for external validation from my email. As history has proven, it only leads to disappointment, and a constant, annoying attachment to your phone. You annoy other people, and more than anything, I annoy myself.
So, the rules.
1) The phone does not sleep next to me at night. Unless I absolutely need to use it as an alarm. And even then, it's probably going to be ok across the room.
2) Unless there is a specific need (ie, I'm waiting on a specific communication that is of some importance) while I am at home, I can set aside a specific time to check my email, but other than that, the phone stays down.
3) Exception to rule #2 is text messages. I don't text many people, and most of the time it's my mom, or someone that has a specific, more immediate concern. This, I'm ok with checking, as in the past it has not proven to be a problem.
4) Work days are going to be harder. I sit at a computer 8 hours a day, and boredom often sets in. And it's readily available. It's going to be harder to regulate it during the day, but it's the attitude behind it that is going to make the most difference. See below.
I think this is going to work. Once I really faced the issue that I have with email, really faced what I was using email as, I was able to look at the issue much more clearly. Realized that I was using it as external validation, when I need to find validation through myself, not the prospect of someone else emailing me.
The funny thing is, in the past, when I've been in contact with someone who emails a lot, either in frequency, and I'm saying many times a day, lots of back and forth, it's annoyed me. When I've continued the pattern, I've annoyed myself. So it's not like it's the actual content that I need. It was more like a sudden, very brief, heart palpitation the instant I saw a new email.
And just explaining all of that, writing it all out, makes me a little frustrated with myself, and...disappointed.
And we can't have that. No no. This girl is positive, and happy, and more than anything else, loves myself.
Sure, I have my moments. Moments of insecurity, weakness, self doubt. All of the above, and then some. So, the other day, I read another article, stating the same ol' things about finding satisfaction within yourself, being an independent person, and knowing what you want. Both in life, and a mate. And for the most part, I feel like I've accomplished this. And when I would have bad days, and would feel down, I would write it off to that happening to everyone.
Everyone has a weakness. I've probably known what mine is for a long time, but I haven't changed my behavior accordingly. I blame my smart phone. Ok, it probably started before then, but it became much more of an issue when I got a smart phone. For want of some external satisfaction, I often check my email. Thinking that I will magically get an email from...anyone. Or if my phone dinged, I immediately jumped on it. I constantly wanted and needed to receive email as some form of validation. Nevermind the fact that half the time when I do get emails, they're crap. Or they're from facebook telling me that someone else commented on someone else's status. I would long for a personal email from anyone, but really hoping that it was from someone I really liked. You know...like that. And not only do I jump on my phone, I constantly check facebook. Ok, so the latter is probably more out of boredom than anything else. In the mornings, the first thing I do is check my email. At night, if I can't fall asleep immediately, I'll surf through my phone. Either checking email, or playing around on facebook, or surfing the interwebz.
Over the past year, I've gotten a teensy bit better. While on vacation, or on weekends, I'll put my phone down, and I won't look at it for hours. I'll avoid it, actually. Not wanting to feel or be connected to the outside world. Not needing to be connected to the outside world. I needed a breather from my phone. But it's so temporary. I was still checking first thing in the morning, and most often, when my phone dings, I jump on it.
This stops. Now.
This morning, I moved my phone charger across the room. If I really had a viable option for plugging it in in another room, I would. But I have an efficiency apartment, and the bathroom probably isn't the smartest place to leave your phone. Or is it?
I have to stop looking for external validation from my email. As history has proven, it only leads to disappointment, and a constant, annoying attachment to your phone. You annoy other people, and more than anything, I annoy myself.
So, the rules.
1) The phone does not sleep next to me at night. Unless I absolutely need to use it as an alarm. And even then, it's probably going to be ok across the room.
2) Unless there is a specific need (ie, I'm waiting on a specific communication that is of some importance) while I am at home, I can set aside a specific time to check my email, but other than that, the phone stays down.
3) Exception to rule #2 is text messages. I don't text many people, and most of the time it's my mom, or someone that has a specific, more immediate concern. This, I'm ok with checking, as in the past it has not proven to be a problem.
4) Work days are going to be harder. I sit at a computer 8 hours a day, and boredom often sets in. And it's readily available. It's going to be harder to regulate it during the day, but it's the attitude behind it that is going to make the most difference. See below.
I think this is going to work. Once I really faced the issue that I have with email, really faced what I was using email as, I was able to look at the issue much more clearly. Realized that I was using it as external validation, when I need to find validation through myself, not the prospect of someone else emailing me.
The funny thing is, in the past, when I've been in contact with someone who emails a lot, either in frequency, and I'm saying many times a day, lots of back and forth, it's annoyed me. When I've continued the pattern, I've annoyed myself. So it's not like it's the actual content that I need. It was more like a sudden, very brief, heart palpitation the instant I saw a new email.
And just explaining all of that, writing it all out, makes me a little frustrated with myself, and...disappointed.
And we can't have that. No no. This girl is positive, and happy, and more than anything else, loves myself.
Monday, December 5, 2011
The Project
I'm at a point in my year where I don't have a project consuming my brain. Ironman training is taking a break. LSAT studying is over. And work is slow. My brain is antsy. You know what happens when my brain is antsy? I end up with red hair. Very cute red hair that I like very much. But RED HAIR.
So my new project, in title, mainly and only in seriousness a little is "Sugar Daddy Shopping." Of course, finding a very attractive, somewhat young man (30's-ish) who would be able to provide for me for the rest of my days with me not needing to work would be wonderful. But it's not an official requirement. A benefit only. Ok, so at the moment I'm burnt out on a lot of things, and the idea of never having to work again sounds kinda nice right now. Give me a month with nothing to do, not only will I have red hair, but I wouldn't have much of it left. Ok, maybe 2 months.
But the idea of this project has gotten me thinking about a few things. Mainly, where do you meet someone? And really, it's always been a question of mine. I've tried the internet. And though I've met people that way. I've dated people that way. It's just never really felt...right. For me. I know several other people who have met that way, and it's worked for them. It's just not for me.
Ok, so I meet new people all the time. I've even gone through the "getting to know you" process a few times this year. But before we got to the dating you thing, I realized it just wasn't going to work. They were not the one.
In my own group of friends, there are so many different stories of how couples met, it's actually hard to keep track of them all. Friends setting them up. Parents setting them up. Meeting at work. Meeting online. Meeting in a bar. All of the above and then some.
My dad, always the one to give helpful advice, has occasionally given me ideas on how to meet the man of my dreams. My favorite one involves the fact that I'm klutzy, and injure myself. He figures that in one of the many times I damage myself, I will spend enough time in the ER to snag a Dr. Now, I don't totally hate the idea. A Dr. would meet several of my must haves, and even a few of the nice to haves on my list of requirements. But the main flaw in this theory is that the only way I'm going to the ER is if I'm unconscious. And the likelihood of me being able to pick up a Dr. in that state is slim. I won't say none. Anything can happen.
I guess in reality, I don't, and can't, know the answer to my question. I'm curious about it. And knowing me, it will be completely random, like me literally tripping over them...or something weird like that.
I don't know. But my hope is that this time next year, I'll have the answer.
So my new project, in title, mainly and only in seriousness a little is "Sugar Daddy Shopping." Of course, finding a very attractive, somewhat young man (30's-ish) who would be able to provide for me for the rest of my days with me not needing to work would be wonderful. But it's not an official requirement. A benefit only. Ok, so at the moment I'm burnt out on a lot of things, and the idea of never having to work again sounds kinda nice right now. Give me a month with nothing to do, not only will I have red hair, but I wouldn't have much of it left. Ok, maybe 2 months.
But the idea of this project has gotten me thinking about a few things. Mainly, where do you meet someone? And really, it's always been a question of mine. I've tried the internet. And though I've met people that way. I've dated people that way. It's just never really felt...right. For me. I know several other people who have met that way, and it's worked for them. It's just not for me.
Ok, so I meet new people all the time. I've even gone through the "getting to know you" process a few times this year. But before we got to the dating you thing, I realized it just wasn't going to work. They were not the one.
In my own group of friends, there are so many different stories of how couples met, it's actually hard to keep track of them all. Friends setting them up. Parents setting them up. Meeting at work. Meeting online. Meeting in a bar. All of the above and then some.
My dad, always the one to give helpful advice, has occasionally given me ideas on how to meet the man of my dreams. My favorite one involves the fact that I'm klutzy, and injure myself. He figures that in one of the many times I damage myself, I will spend enough time in the ER to snag a Dr. Now, I don't totally hate the idea. A Dr. would meet several of my must haves, and even a few of the nice to haves on my list of requirements. But the main flaw in this theory is that the only way I'm going to the ER is if I'm unconscious. And the likelihood of me being able to pick up a Dr. in that state is slim. I won't say none. Anything can happen.
I guess in reality, I don't, and can't, know the answer to my question. I'm curious about it. And knowing me, it will be completely random, like me literally tripping over them...or something weird like that.
I don't know. But my hope is that this time next year, I'll have the answer.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Holiday's...And Family
There comes a time in every person's life when you are just not supposed to live with your family every day. It's a good thing. It's a natural thing.
Since achieving the age of 17 (which is how old I was when I started college) approximately 4 days has been my family time limit. I'm an adult. I have my own thing going on. I love my family dearly, I do. I really, really do. But they get 4 days before I'm ready to get back to my normal life.
I've currently been with family non-stop for over 2 weeks. Surprisingly, I still have hair.
We have, fortunately, been doing a multitude of different things. I went to a wedding (with my parents), I made an attempt at an Ironman, and now I've been with my brother, sis-in-law, and niece for Thanksgiving. Oh don't worry, the parents were here too, but they left yesterday.
2 whole weeks with family. I love them, but I'm going crazy. I even took a longer than normal shower today just so I could have a little extra breathing room. As I said, it's a natural thing for families to not live together when they're adults. And I feel fortunate that I get to see my family as often as I do, considering they live half way across the country from me. At the moment, I'm thinking that might not be far enough. And I'm planning on moving closer to these people???
But in reality, I do want to live closer to them again. When you're in more of your own routine, you can see them when you want, and it doesn't have to be 24/7/365. And I would actually get to eat the food that I choose, when I choose to eat it. I love my parents, but, well, let's just say they didn't exactly prevent me from weighing almost 300 pounds. They have gotten better since I have finally learned how to eat healthy...but my mom made me cookies. She wanted to try out a new recipe for vegan cookies that she found...which is great. But she made me cookies. And I'm trying to lose weight. Well...it's a good thing I'm taking a couple of weeks to be lazy and gluttonous before getting back home, and getting back to training, and losing weight. But the woman made me cookies. And bought a brownie mix to make over Christmas. Just so I could have something desert like to eat while I was there. Paying not attention to the fact that I try not to eat desert type stuff, because I can't just eat one cookies. I eat an entire box of cookies. So I have found if I don't eat any cookies, we are ok.
Wow...that was a rant. And totally away from the topic that I was planning to cover in this post.
So...moving on.
Holiday's...and family. Since I moved half way across the country, I haven't gotten to spend many holiday's with my family. so I should cherish every single one that I do actually get to spend with them. I often don't. In fact, one of the best holiday's that I can remember in recent history was Thanksgiving a year ago. I spent it alone. In my tiny apartment. I watched the parade. I went for a run. I made turkey burgers and drank beer. And I watched football. It was fantastic. And I didn't have to deal with family. Whom I do, by the way, love.
My problem with families started about 6 years ago when I became the mid-20's single girl...who also, at the time, weighed nearly 300 pounds. My brother and sis-in-law had been together for a couple of years, and were now planning their wedding. (And at the same time, several of my friends were also planning their weddings). So, I'm the single one. And when I look around the room, full of family, I can't help but feeling like the least loved person in the room.
Let me explain. My family consists of my parents...who after 37 years of marriage are still sickeningly in love. My brother and sis-in-law and niece (the first, and only grandchild) and me. I'm single. I have no children, and I no longer have the right to be called the baby of the family any more. Long story short...no one on that room looks at me like I'm it, I'm the one person in the room that they love more than anyone else in the world.
I'm used to it by now. This year hasn't bothered me as much as it has in years past. But it's still...hard.
I still want to remain positive...that someday...somewhere...someone will look at me that way. I want to think that this is still possible. As so many people tell me all of the time, 30 is still young. And I do think that this is possible. It just sucks waiting for it to be my turn.
Speaking of...now that we've covered the holiday's...let's chat about weddings for a bit. The other co-founder of the single girl's club is now married. 2 weeks ago. In our group of friends, I'm the only single one. There's one more that isn't married, but she's living with her boyfriend that's been around for a couple of years...so we're pretty sure they're going to get married sometime. While I was at the wedding, one of my friends looked at me and said that I would be next. Well...I wanted to say "of course I'm going to be next! I'm the only one left!" I didn't. But I really did want to say that. And...the bride aimed the bouquet at me. Fortunately, the groom's daughter was enough of the way in front of the pack that she caught it before I had to dodge it's path. Dodged a bullet there. Oh, and did I also mention that not only am I the only single one of my friends left...I was also the only single person above the age of 25 at this wedding? Well...I was.
Things can happen in the blink of an eye. And I'm sure before I know it, I'll be looking back wondering why I was so miserable being single for so long. Or at least wishing for a moment when I didn't have to share a bathroom with someone. But...for now. It really sucks being the single one.
Since achieving the age of 17 (which is how old I was when I started college) approximately 4 days has been my family time limit. I'm an adult. I have my own thing going on. I love my family dearly, I do. I really, really do. But they get 4 days before I'm ready to get back to my normal life.
I've currently been with family non-stop for over 2 weeks. Surprisingly, I still have hair.
We have, fortunately, been doing a multitude of different things. I went to a wedding (with my parents), I made an attempt at an Ironman, and now I've been with my brother, sis-in-law, and niece for Thanksgiving. Oh don't worry, the parents were here too, but they left yesterday.
2 whole weeks with family. I love them, but I'm going crazy. I even took a longer than normal shower today just so I could have a little extra breathing room. As I said, it's a natural thing for families to not live together when they're adults. And I feel fortunate that I get to see my family as often as I do, considering they live half way across the country from me. At the moment, I'm thinking that might not be far enough. And I'm planning on moving closer to these people???
But in reality, I do want to live closer to them again. When you're in more of your own routine, you can see them when you want, and it doesn't have to be 24/7/365. And I would actually get to eat the food that I choose, when I choose to eat it. I love my parents, but, well, let's just say they didn't exactly prevent me from weighing almost 300 pounds. They have gotten better since I have finally learned how to eat healthy...but my mom made me cookies. She wanted to try out a new recipe for vegan cookies that she found...which is great. But she made me cookies. And I'm trying to lose weight. Well...it's a good thing I'm taking a couple of weeks to be lazy and gluttonous before getting back home, and getting back to training, and losing weight. But the woman made me cookies. And bought a brownie mix to make over Christmas. Just so I could have something desert like to eat while I was there. Paying not attention to the fact that I try not to eat desert type stuff, because I can't just eat one cookies. I eat an entire box of cookies. So I have found if I don't eat any cookies, we are ok.
Wow...that was a rant. And totally away from the topic that I was planning to cover in this post.
So...moving on.
Holiday's...and family. Since I moved half way across the country, I haven't gotten to spend many holiday's with my family. so I should cherish every single one that I do actually get to spend with them. I often don't. In fact, one of the best holiday's that I can remember in recent history was Thanksgiving a year ago. I spent it alone. In my tiny apartment. I watched the parade. I went for a run. I made turkey burgers and drank beer. And I watched football. It was fantastic. And I didn't have to deal with family. Whom I do, by the way, love.
My problem with families started about 6 years ago when I became the mid-20's single girl...who also, at the time, weighed nearly 300 pounds. My brother and sis-in-law had been together for a couple of years, and were now planning their wedding. (And at the same time, several of my friends were also planning their weddings). So, I'm the single one. And when I look around the room, full of family, I can't help but feeling like the least loved person in the room.
Let me explain. My family consists of my parents...who after 37 years of marriage are still sickeningly in love. My brother and sis-in-law and niece (the first, and only grandchild) and me. I'm single. I have no children, and I no longer have the right to be called the baby of the family any more. Long story short...no one on that room looks at me like I'm it, I'm the one person in the room that they love more than anyone else in the world.
I'm used to it by now. This year hasn't bothered me as much as it has in years past. But it's still...hard.
I still want to remain positive...that someday...somewhere...someone will look at me that way. I want to think that this is still possible. As so many people tell me all of the time, 30 is still young. And I do think that this is possible. It just sucks waiting for it to be my turn.
Speaking of...now that we've covered the holiday's...let's chat about weddings for a bit. The other co-founder of the single girl's club is now married. 2 weeks ago. In our group of friends, I'm the only single one. There's one more that isn't married, but she's living with her boyfriend that's been around for a couple of years...so we're pretty sure they're going to get married sometime. While I was at the wedding, one of my friends looked at me and said that I would be next. Well...I wanted to say "of course I'm going to be next! I'm the only one left!" I didn't. But I really did want to say that. And...the bride aimed the bouquet at me. Fortunately, the groom's daughter was enough of the way in front of the pack that she caught it before I had to dodge it's path. Dodged a bullet there. Oh, and did I also mention that not only am I the only single one of my friends left...I was also the only single person above the age of 25 at this wedding? Well...I was.
Things can happen in the blink of an eye. And I'm sure before I know it, I'll be looking back wondering why I was so miserable being single for so long. Or at least wishing for a moment when I didn't have to share a bathroom with someone. But...for now. It really sucks being the single one.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Speed Dating 101
It's a good thing I'm an endurance athlete. Because speed dating is the marathon of first dates. How many times can I say "I'm training for an Ironman, and it's in 19 days" in one night?
Backstory: Earlier this year, I decided to not be "anti-dating" anymore, and right after that, one of my friends (who is married and has 2 kids) found a Groupon for speed dating. She suggested I give it a try. So I bought the Groupon. Not really wanting to go by myself, I finally convinced one of my single friends to go with me. We decided on a speed dating night for "Fit and Active Professionals." Perfect!
As soon as we signed up for this speed dating night, I kept wondering if we were going to run into any guys from our triathlon team. And I was also curious about the other girls that were going to be there. Not thinking that we would see any of the other girls on our team. Well...we did. When I walked in, there were 4 other girls from our team there. No guys that we recognized.
So we get the obligatory happy hour specials...because who really wants to go on 20 first dates sober? And then we get seated. I, somehow, end up in the back corner, on a low seat that you end up half laying down in. And there was a short table right in front of the seat, so my stupendously long legs somehow got folded around, and was, to say the least, not the most comfortable position to sit in for over an hour.
What is there to say about 20+ 4 minute conversations? They're basically all a blur. You get the basic introduction...hi...how are you? There were the standard conversations about what you do, why you chose the fit and active one. Is this your first time here? There were a couple of guys who seemed to have a quirky list of questions, like who your celebrity crush is. I'm not sure how that's an appropriate first date question...but it seemed to be a popular one. There was the guy who just ran the MCM last Sunday, and claimed to have been at mile 20 2 hours into the race. Yeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah....I believe that one. And then some of the most notable dates of the evening were older guys that seemed to be seasoned pros at the speed dating thing. Let's go from bad to worst. Bad: Old guy...clearly not fit or active. Talked about music a lot. I'm not sure I actually said anything the entire time. Worse: Old guy, wanted to be unique...so we talked politics. Worst: Middle aged guy, a little...sad. He kept talking about how he had had love in the past, and just kept trying to find that again. And all of the different ways that he had tried to find love again. I feel bad for the guy, but not something you want to hear on a first date.
So, the long story short is it was an entertaining evening. I'm glad I did it. But I'm 99.9% sure that I'll never see or speak to any of those guys ever again.
Backstory: Earlier this year, I decided to not be "anti-dating" anymore, and right after that, one of my friends (who is married and has 2 kids) found a Groupon for speed dating. She suggested I give it a try. So I bought the Groupon. Not really wanting to go by myself, I finally convinced one of my single friends to go with me. We decided on a speed dating night for "Fit and Active Professionals." Perfect!
As soon as we signed up for this speed dating night, I kept wondering if we were going to run into any guys from our triathlon team. And I was also curious about the other girls that were going to be there. Not thinking that we would see any of the other girls on our team. Well...we did. When I walked in, there were 4 other girls from our team there. No guys that we recognized.
So we get the obligatory happy hour specials...because who really wants to go on 20 first dates sober? And then we get seated. I, somehow, end up in the back corner, on a low seat that you end up half laying down in. And there was a short table right in front of the seat, so my stupendously long legs somehow got folded around, and was, to say the least, not the most comfortable position to sit in for over an hour.
What is there to say about 20+ 4 minute conversations? They're basically all a blur. You get the basic introduction...hi...how are you? There were the standard conversations about what you do, why you chose the fit and active one. Is this your first time here? There were a couple of guys who seemed to have a quirky list of questions, like who your celebrity crush is. I'm not sure how that's an appropriate first date question...but it seemed to be a popular one. There was the guy who just ran the MCM last Sunday, and claimed to have been at mile 20 2 hours into the race. Yeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah....I believe that one. And then some of the most notable dates of the evening were older guys that seemed to be seasoned pros at the speed dating thing. Let's go from bad to worst. Bad: Old guy...clearly not fit or active. Talked about music a lot. I'm not sure I actually said anything the entire time. Worse: Old guy, wanted to be unique...so we talked politics. Worst: Middle aged guy, a little...sad. He kept talking about how he had had love in the past, and just kept trying to find that again. And all of the different ways that he had tried to find love again. I feel bad for the guy, but not something you want to hear on a first date.
So, the long story short is it was an entertaining evening. I'm glad I did it. But I'm 99.9% sure that I'll never see or speak to any of those guys ever again.
Monday, October 31, 2011
The Worst First Date Ever
We've all had bad dates, right? If you haven't, you're lying. But no matter how horrible they are, you have to laugh at them, or you'll probably just go crazy. I've had, well, I wouldn't say "a lot", of first dates, but I've had enough, that I have a top 5+ list of bad first dates. I'm actually sure my list of bad first dates outnumbers the list of good first dates.
#5 - I'm not a girl that requires a 5 star meal, a limo, or even spending money, period, on a first date. I do require that you put a little bit of effort into things, and, you know...a little romance now and then. Number 5 starts off with a guy that was originally from California, who asked me out in January. The original plan for the date was that we meet at a restaurant. At the last minute, he called to ask if I would come to his place, and he could make dinner for me. Ok, so this might SOUND like a nice, romantic date. It's his reasoning that gets this date added to the list. It was too cold for him to go outside and walk to the restaurant, so it was a much better idea for me to get out in the cold, and walk to his place. You don't win any chivalry points for making the girl do something that you refuse to do yourself.
#4 - We actually have a 3 way tie for number 4. And they're bad for the same reason. One word: Parents. Boys, when you're trying to impress a girl, it's normally not a good idea to include springing the parents on her, especially not on the first date. If you have any more questions about this, then you should probably lock yourselves in your parents basement, which is where you're probably living anyway. But the mere fact that we do have a 3 way tie makes me question the guys that I've dated, and brings about one more disturbing trend. Let's not go any further here, because if we do, I may just get even more depressed about my sad love life.
#3 - Again...lack of effort boys. I understand if you're going to dinner in a town that you're not overly familiar with. Before the date, it's not even a bad idea to get recommendations from the girl if she is more familiar with the area. But showing up, having no clue what you're going to do. Bad form boys. And in this particular case, really bad form. Had no idea what restaurants were available. Obviously hadn't made a reservation. Had no idea about the type of food in the restaurant we did choose. And then we leave the restaurant, and get to the crowded movie theater, and I end up getting the leftovers knocked out of my hand. Oh, and to top things off, he was the guy that told me everything I wanted to hear at first, so I was really excited to go out with him again. It wasn't until 3 weeks later he finally informed me that he was a raging Republican (when he originally told me that he was a bleeding heart liberal). And I only wasted 3 weeks of my life.
#2 - Ok...this ones partially on me. Partially. Again...lack of effort for restaurant selection. And I had been under the impression that we were only getting coffee, so I ate lunch before hand. Not great qualities to the first date. But I looked good. I had on a sweater, and my favorite jeans. And what happens as we were walking across the street? I fall on my face. Rip a huge hole in the knee of my jeans. And I was mortified. Needless to say, there wasn't a second date.
#1 - I could stop with one phrase, and most people would understand why this was the worst date ever. Pink. Shirt. He wore a pink shirt on a first date. I don't do pink. I own a few things that are pink. But on boys...uhm...just no. And it was pink, pink. Like, baby pink. And he had come directly from work...carrying all of his work stuff. But the horridity didn't stop there. It kept getting worse from the pink shirt. Ok, so he did a good job on restaurant selection. I will give him that. And the evening started off ok. We chatted, things were going ok. And then all of a sudden, the switch flipped. I realized that I was in the middle of the date where it's like the guy read an article on what NOT to do on a first date...and he did them all. Ok, so if you have to use the restroom in the middle of a date. That's fine. Don't tell me that water really runs through you. Politics. Money. Family. And specifics about all of the topics. Oh, and how he went a little crazy when he was traveling through Europe. At some point, I think he got frustrated with me because I was having such a bad time, I just kind of shut down. But what do you expect when you're on the worst first date ever. I will say one thing...one redeeming quality. He did walk me home. Not that I really want him to know where I live. But it was polite. But I'm glad I've moved from that apartment.
At least I do have the good humor to look back on all of these evenings, and be able to laugh at them. Oh my.
#5 - I'm not a girl that requires a 5 star meal, a limo, or even spending money, period, on a first date. I do require that you put a little bit of effort into things, and, you know...a little romance now and then. Number 5 starts off with a guy that was originally from California, who asked me out in January. The original plan for the date was that we meet at a restaurant. At the last minute, he called to ask if I would come to his place, and he could make dinner for me. Ok, so this might SOUND like a nice, romantic date. It's his reasoning that gets this date added to the list. It was too cold for him to go outside and walk to the restaurant, so it was a much better idea for me to get out in the cold, and walk to his place. You don't win any chivalry points for making the girl do something that you refuse to do yourself.
#4 - We actually have a 3 way tie for number 4. And they're bad for the same reason. One word: Parents. Boys, when you're trying to impress a girl, it's normally not a good idea to include springing the parents on her, especially not on the first date. If you have any more questions about this, then you should probably lock yourselves in your parents basement, which is where you're probably living anyway. But the mere fact that we do have a 3 way tie makes me question the guys that I've dated, and brings about one more disturbing trend. Let's not go any further here, because if we do, I may just get even more depressed about my sad love life.
#3 - Again...lack of effort boys. I understand if you're going to dinner in a town that you're not overly familiar with. Before the date, it's not even a bad idea to get recommendations from the girl if she is more familiar with the area. But showing up, having no clue what you're going to do. Bad form boys. And in this particular case, really bad form. Had no idea what restaurants were available. Obviously hadn't made a reservation. Had no idea about the type of food in the restaurant we did choose. And then we leave the restaurant, and get to the crowded movie theater, and I end up getting the leftovers knocked out of my hand. Oh, and to top things off, he was the guy that told me everything I wanted to hear at first, so I was really excited to go out with him again. It wasn't until 3 weeks later he finally informed me that he was a raging Republican (when he originally told me that he was a bleeding heart liberal). And I only wasted 3 weeks of my life.
#2 - Ok...this ones partially on me. Partially. Again...lack of effort for restaurant selection. And I had been under the impression that we were only getting coffee, so I ate lunch before hand. Not great qualities to the first date. But I looked good. I had on a sweater, and my favorite jeans. And what happens as we were walking across the street? I fall on my face. Rip a huge hole in the knee of my jeans. And I was mortified. Needless to say, there wasn't a second date.
#1 - I could stop with one phrase, and most people would understand why this was the worst date ever. Pink. Shirt. He wore a pink shirt on a first date. I don't do pink. I own a few things that are pink. But on boys...uhm...just no. And it was pink, pink. Like, baby pink. And he had come directly from work...carrying all of his work stuff. But the horridity didn't stop there. It kept getting worse from the pink shirt. Ok, so he did a good job on restaurant selection. I will give him that. And the evening started off ok. We chatted, things were going ok. And then all of a sudden, the switch flipped. I realized that I was in the middle of the date where it's like the guy read an article on what NOT to do on a first date...and he did them all. Ok, so if you have to use the restroom in the middle of a date. That's fine. Don't tell me that water really runs through you. Politics. Money. Family. And specifics about all of the topics. Oh, and how he went a little crazy when he was traveling through Europe. At some point, I think he got frustrated with me because I was having such a bad time, I just kind of shut down. But what do you expect when you're on the worst first date ever. I will say one thing...one redeeming quality. He did walk me home. Not that I really want him to know where I live. But it was polite. But I'm glad I've moved from that apartment.
At least I do have the good humor to look back on all of these evenings, and be able to laugh at them. Oh my.
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