Holiday's...And Family

There comes a time in every person's life when you are just not supposed to live with your family every day.  It's a good thing.  It's a natural thing. 

Since achieving the age of 17 (which is how old I was when I started college) approximately 4 days has been my family time limit.  I'm an adult.  I have my own thing going on.  I love my family dearly, I do.  I really, really do.  But they get 4 days before I'm ready to get back to my normal life. 

I've currently been with family non-stop for over 2 weeks.  Surprisingly, I still have hair. 

We have, fortunately, been doing a multitude of different things.  I went to a wedding (with my parents), I made an attempt at an Ironman, and now I've been with my brother, sis-in-law, and niece for Thanksgiving.  Oh don't worry, the parents were here too, but they left yesterday. 

2 whole weeks with family.  I love them, but I'm going crazy.  I even took a longer than normal shower today just so I could have a little extra breathing room.  As I said, it's a natural thing for families to not live together when they're adults.  And I feel fortunate that I get to see my family as often as I do, considering they live half way across the country from me.  At the moment, I'm thinking that might not be far enough.  And I'm planning on moving closer to these people??? 

But in reality, I do want to live closer to them again.  When you're in more of your own routine, you can see them when you want, and it doesn't have to be 24/7/365.  And I would actually get to eat the food that I choose, when I choose to eat it.  I love my parents, but, well, let's just say they didn't exactly prevent me from weighing almost 300 pounds.  They have gotten better since I have finally learned how to eat healthy...but my mom made me cookies.  She wanted to try out a new recipe for vegan cookies that she found...which is great.  But she made me cookies.  And I'm trying to lose weight.  Well...it's a good thing I'm taking a couple of weeks to be lazy and gluttonous before getting back home, and getting back to training, and losing weight.  But the woman made me cookies.  And bought a brownie mix to make over Christmas.  Just so I could have something desert like to eat while I was there.  Paying not attention to the fact that I try not to eat desert type stuff, because I can't just eat one cookies.  I eat an entire box of cookies.  So I have found if I don't eat any cookies, we are ok. 

Wow...that was a rant.  And totally away from the topic that I was planning to cover in this post. 

So...moving on.

Holiday's...and family.  Since I moved half way across the country, I haven't gotten to spend many holiday's with my family.  so I should cherish every single one that I do actually get to spend with them.  I often don't.  In fact, one of the best holiday's that I can remember in recent history was Thanksgiving a year ago.  I spent it alone.  In my tiny apartment.  I watched the parade.  I went for a run.  I made turkey burgers and drank beer.  And I watched football.  It was fantastic.  And I didn't have to deal with family.  Whom I do, by the way, love. 

My problem with families started about 6 years ago when I became the mid-20's single girl...who also, at the time, weighed nearly 300 pounds.  My brother and sis-in-law had been together for a couple of years, and were now planning their wedding.  (And at the same time, several of my friends were also planning their weddings).  So, I'm the single one.  And when I look around the room, full of family, I can't help but feeling like the least loved person in the room. 

Let me explain.  My family consists of my parents...who after 37 years of marriage are still sickeningly in love.  My brother and sis-in-law and niece (the first, and only grandchild) and me.  I'm single.  I have no children, and I no longer have the right to be called the baby of the family any more.  Long story short...no one on that room looks at me like I'm it, I'm the one person in the room that they love more than anyone else in the world. 

I'm used to it by now.  This year hasn't bothered me as much as it has in years past.  But it's still...hard. 

I still want to remain positive...that someday...somewhere...someone will look at me that way.  I want to think that this is still possible.  As so many people tell me all of the time, 30 is still young.  And I do think that this is possible.  It just sucks waiting for it to be my turn. 

Speaking of...now that we've covered the holiday's...let's chat about weddings for a bit.  The other co-founder of the single girl's club is now married.  2 weeks ago.  In our group of friends, I'm the only single one.  There's one more that isn't married, but she's living with her boyfriend that's been around for a couple of years...so we're pretty sure they're going to get married sometime.  While I was at the wedding, one of my friends looked at me and said that I would be next.  Well...I wanted to say "of course I'm going to be next!  I'm the only one left!"  I didn't.  But I really did want to say that.  And...the bride aimed the bouquet at me.  Fortunately, the groom's daughter was enough of the way in front of the pack that she caught it before I had to dodge it's path.  Dodged a bullet there.  Oh, and did I also mention that not only am I the only single one of my friends left...I was also the only single person above the age of 25 at this wedding?  Well...I was. 

Things can happen in the blink of an eye.  And I'm sure before I know it, I'll be looking back wondering why I was so miserable being single for so long.  Or at least wishing for a moment when I didn't have to share a bathroom with someone.  But...for now.  It really sucks being the single one.